


Music is playing in the darkness

by The_invisible_girl05



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, High School, Jealousy, M/M, No Smut, Slow Burn, Tags Are Hard, Teenagers, Work In Progress, teenage maylor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:34:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_invisible_girl05/pseuds/The_invisible_girl05
Summary: It is Roger's last schoolyear and, of course, the only empty chair is next to Brian May. A nerd with silly hair, he used to bully in 5th grade. But maybe that boy is not so boring as he thought and why does Brian has to have so beautiful eyes.....ORI suck at summerys
Relationships: Brian May & Roger Taylor, Brian May/Chrissie Mullen, Brian May/Roger Taylor, John Deacon/Veronica Tetzlaff
Comments: 14
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, if anyone actually read this, hi:).  
> I was just listening to the song 'You and I', when this idea popped up in my head. I want to say sorry for my bad English and this is also my first fanfiction, I public.  
> So, don't expect a masterpiece and please comment so I can see what I can improve.  
> Have fun with the fanfiction :)

beep. beep.

Roger groans in his pillow. And hello another year full of stress, tierdness and wasted hours in which he has to learn useless things about Maths or even worse Physics instead of throwing up his school career and just do things he really like.  
Music.

He could do it. The music college would allow him to study at their school even though he's just turned 17 and did not finished school yet. His drumset skills convinced them, but not his mother. She strictly wants that he first graduates in case that his music career won't work out. In her eyes being a musician is a very insecure lifestyle.  
Well, that's quite true but doesn't everyone always say that you have to follow your dreams? 

By the way, Roger just had a very wierd dream about a black poodle, which was flying around in the space. Sometimes he really doesn't know what is wrong with him.

He stand up from his bed and quickly puts on his school uniform. Then he goes over to the bathroom, brushes his teeth and combs his blonde hair.  
Before he leaves the house, Roger grabs an apple and a small bread. He usually eats his breakfast on the way to school, so he can sleep longer.

As he arrives at the school, he immediately looks up for his best friend Freddie but he can't see him anywhere. Probably he already is in his class, where Roger is supposed to be right now too. Just at the moment the school bell bells. "Shit!" Roger says. Why does he always have to be late for everything?

He runs to the stairs and tries to remember the number of the classroom, his teacher told him in an email. Was it 231? Roger runs to the second floor and scans the doors for number 231. 228...229...230. There it is.

He opens the door of the classroom with number 231. A class full of 12 or 13 years old students looks at him. He blushes. "Sorry, wrong class."  
He closes the door.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 

What number was it? Roger think! You can remember it.  
Ah! 213! He runs over to classroom 213. After taking a deep breath, he opens the door and this time it is the right one. Of course, the lesson has already started.

"Ah, Mr. Taylor. Good to know that you also have found your way out of your bed to school. I bet you have an excellent explanation for your delay at the first day of the school year, don't you?" his Physics teacher Mr. Denson says with a mean grin on his face.

Roger's face is immediately red again. Oh, how he hates that man, but he does not want a bad impression at the first day, so he only mumbles a "Sorry, I overslept." And looks up for a free seat.

Oh no, today Roger really only has bad luck.

The only left free seat is next to a tall boy with big curly hair which was the reason he used to get bullied by Roger in 5th grade and on top he is the biggest nerd at this school.

And his name is Brian May.


	2. Chaper 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter, it's longer than the first one.  
> Have fun reading it :)

While thinking that this start is probably the worse he ever had, Roger sits down on his new seat. He looks over to Brian but he just stares to the front of the class and pays attention to Mr. Denson's monologue about how hard this schoolyear will be and that they will have to give all what they got, if they don't want to fail this class.

Roger know s that he will not pass the Physics exam, no matter how hard he will study. Physics just doesn't count to Roger's strengths.  
Well, besides of his drumset skills there isn't really anything to be proud of. Girls often fall in love with him but that's more annoying than useful.

Suddenly he has the feeling that everyone in his class looks at him. He quickly stops his staring outside of the window and turns his head to Mr. Denson, who again gives him his evil smile and says "I just asked you, if you could answer my question about what the 3 rules, that Newton putted up, were. It's only repetition from the last school years. Let's hear what Mr. Taylor remember after his 6-week summer holiday sleep."

In Roger's head an alarm starts ringing. He should better answer that but the only thing about Newton he remembers is, how Freddie once told him in a boring lesson that Newton kinda looks like Brian and how they had one of their biggest laughings in class, which unsurprisingly ended up with detention. But that's not the answer to Mr. Denson's question.

Again he only can mumbles a "I don't know the answer." and endures another one of Mr. Denson's jokes about him.

At the end of a long, boring lesson the teacher tells the class that for the beginning of their school year everyone has to do a short presentation about one Physics rule with their partner.  
'Well, at least Brian can do the work for me and I will get a good mark.' Roger says to himself.

Every duo has to pull a rule out of a box and, of course, Roger takes 'Newton's first rule'. He sighs while Brian seems to be happy with that. "That's not so hard and you will be able to convince Mr. Denson that you actually know something about Newton and his rules." He looks at Roger "We can start with the work tomorrow. I think on tuesdays the library is open until 8pm so we can meet around 5pm. Do you have time then?"

Roger didn't expect Brian being so nice to him, he thought that he will be mad because of the bullying thing a few years ago. But then again, it is years ago. He probably has forgotten it already. So he answers "Yeah, five sounds great.". Brian smiles "Cool, see you tomorrow." and they leave the classroom. 

As soon as Roger sees Freddie and John in the school yard, he goes over to them

\-----------------------------------

"We definitely need a guitarist!" is the first sentence he hears from John as he stops next to them. Roger rolls his eyes. They already had this conversation a million times after they formed their band called 'Queen' last year. Freddie is their lead singer, John plays bass and the guitar and Roger plays the drums. Sometimes he does some background singing too.

The only problem is that when they are playing either the guitar or the bass part is missing because John obviously can't separate himself. The fact that they always can not build a complete rock band doesn't make it easy for them to give live concerts. Therefore John tries to convince Freddie to look up for a guitarist.

Freddie, on the other hand, doesn't want a new band member because he thinks that he or she could destroy their dynamic. Roger is on John's side.

"Come on Freddie, we could at least try it. There will always be the opportunity to send him or she away, if it won't work out. We could put an advertise in the school newspaper. Maybe someone will get in touch with us. But pleas, can we stop this argument, I'm tired of it." He says hoping that Freddie finally will agree with them.

"All right then. We can try that." Freddie says. John and Roger share a grin and do a silly dance to celebrate their triumph. Freddie just shakes his head laughing "You're such idiots!". "And you love us!" John answers and Roger is happy that this argument is finally over.

"Will you come to Jim's party on Wednesday?" Freddie asks John and Roger. "Of course!" Roger answers immediately "A party without Roger is not a party." He really enjoys going on parties and having fun with his friends.

"I don't know" John says "School had just started and I don't want to be already drunk in the first week.". "Oh, come on! It really doesn't matter, if you're drunk in the first or in the fourth week. And you know what, Jim told me that Veronica wants to come too." The last sentence Freddie says with a grin on his face.

Roger and Freddie both know that John has feelings for her and even though John says "Why should that convince me to go to the party?" they see how John's cheeks change their colour to a soft pink and it is clear that John will be at the party on Wednesday. The school bell rings and they have to stop their talking because they now all have different classes.

In the late evening, after Roger layed down in his bed, he remembers that tomorrow he has his meeting with Brian. 'How that will be?' Roger thinks 'Hopefully he won't make fun of my non existing Physics knowledge.' And then Roger falls asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

On the next day Freddie, John and Roger have a band rehearsal after school. 

Throughout the summer holidays they didn't have the opportunity to play together because always one of them was on a holiday trip with their family. Even if they didn't be on holiday, they couldn't have a rehearsal because the room in which they always meet is in their school. And school is closed over the holidays. 

That means that this is their first rehearsal after weeks. And it's just feeling wholesome. Roger didn't know how much he missed playing with his friends and they play every piece that they know.

They play and play and Roger completely forgets about the time. 

At some point they all need a break and Roger feels how exhausting it all was. He grabs his water bottle and while he drinks he looks at the clock in the corner of the room. It's 4.43. He continues drinking and suddenly realizes. 

"Fuck! The meeting!" He almost spits the water that's still in his mout through the whole room. "I have to go." Roger quickly stands up and packs his things together.

"A date?" John asks, "What's her name?" Freddie asks excited. They both look at him with with eyes full of expectations. Roger laughs "No it's not a date." Sometimes his friends really act like 13 year old girls "I have to do a presentation with Brian for Physics and we said we'll met at 5. Sorry that I hadn't tell you but we can continue another time."

"Wait do you mean Brian Brian? The Brian who looks like Newton?" Roger sighs " Yes Freddie, the Brian. I know I also wish it could be someone else but what am I supposed to do." 

He already stands in the door "Bye, guys" he says and loves the room. "At least you will get the best mark if you work with Newton's clone!" Freddie shouts and and Roger smiles thinking " Yes, I certainly will."

\----

As Roger arrives at the library, Brian is already there. He sits at one of the tables, the library makes available for students to do group work or to just study by your own. He is reading a book, his frown is wrinkled and he's nervously biting his lower lip.

He winces as Roger sits next to him, startled by the sudden move and noise next to him. Roger doesn't notice it "Sorry that I'm late." He says out of breath " We just had our band rehearsal and I completely forgot the time." 

"It's alright. " Brian responses " I didn't know that it's already 5 until you showed up." He closes his book " Hey, that's Lord of the rings!" Roger says surprised

Somehow he thought Brian is that type of guy who only reads science books. " I love Lord of the rings! I have watched the movies so many times." Brian smiles "What about the books? Did you not read them? Oh, you're missing so much great stuff."

Roger rolls his eyes " Don't even start with the the-books-are-so-much-better-than-the-movies-talk. I'm so tired of that. Why should I read an over 1000 pages long book if I can watch the movies instead? I don't get it why that's a problem for so many people. "

Brian laughs about Roger's trumoil " I am not saying the books are better than the movies. The movies are masterpieces. It's just, if you love the movies and the story so much, why don't you want to read the books too?"

Roger sighs again "Because reading is boring. " "No, it's not!" Brian says indignant   
"It is." "It's not" "It is" They continue until a girl asks them to just shut up because she can not concentrate over their childish argument.

"Anyways, " Brian says whispering "we came here to do our work. So what do you know about Newton? There must be at least something. "

"Alright, he looks like you." Roger says. Probably he can't expect Brian to do everything for him. "But don't be offended, please. " he adds.

"Why should I be offended? Newton was a smart man. Actually I'm feeling flattered " Brian says exaggerated touched by Roger's words. Roger laughs "You're such a nerd."

"Hey, what's wrong with being a nerd?" "Nothing, let's start with the work." Roger says


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,  
> I know it's been a while but school has started again and I didn't really find time to write.  
> This chapter is much longer than the first ones and I hope you like it.  
> Have fun! :)

"And finished!" Roger says relieved. 

He closes the book, they have been reading to collect facts about Newton, his rules and other useful things for their presentation. Roger leans back and feels tired. He doesn't remember that he had ever put so much effort into school things.

Brian seems very done too, he stretches his back and yawns. They've been studying for the last two hours. But it was the best groupwork Roger has done yet. They were productive, he understood the majority and, surprisingly, he had fun!

While they were working, he realized that Brian is quite a cool guy, he's funny and smart and he can explain complexe things so good.

Brian stands up. "Well," he says "I have to go. I have guitar lesson in 30 minutes. But we could do this again if you want to." He insecurly smiles at Roger. "I could help you with physics. "

Roger looks up. "You would help me?" He can't believe it. How many times did he ask his parents to offer a tutor for physics but they have always said that he doesn't need a tutor because he's just rot. It is not false, he really is rot but he is also really bad at physics. 

"Uhm, yeah, why not?" Brian says looking more insecure at his feet. "Thank you!" Roger feels so thankful that he stormly hugs him.  
Brian who is very surprised by Roger's sudden thankfulness just carefully pat's Roger's back.  
"Wow, wow, wow! I'm just helping you to understand things! To make it clear, that doesn't mean that you are allowed to copy my homework!" He says laughing. Roger smiles at him.

"You know what " Roger says "I think you should go to Jim's party. As a compensation. Everyone can take somebody with oneself, well, actually you're supposed to take your date or someone like that with you but no one really does that. So you can come with me as my 'partner' " He grins at Brian, proud of his idea.

Brian doesn't react as Roger thought he would. "Um" he again looks at his feet and Roger sees how his cheeks went red. "I don't think I'm the right person to go to a party with." He still looks down. "And what makes you think of that?" Roger asks and Brian wents more red "I've never been to one." He says quietly.

Roger snorts "You're saying it like it's a crime. I believe half of our grade wasn't on a party yet and there's always a first time. " Brian looks up and Roger gives him a small smile. " It will be great and you can stay with us if you're afraid of being alone there. Freddie and John sure will be okay with that."

Brian sighs "Alright, I'll go." "Wohoo!" Roger whispers exaggerated happy. Brian rolls his eyes but finally smiles again. "Okay, I really have to go. See you at the party." He says to Roger and and leaves the library.

\---

"You did what?" Freddie asks him indignant. "I wanted to go to a party to have fun and now I'm supposed to take care of Newton. Newton died a virgin you remember? He didn't go to a party."

Apparently they are not as okay with the fact that Roger invited Brian to the party as he thought. "Brian is not Newton! And he's a really cool guy. You just don't know him because you never talked to him." Roger says. He's angry because they have such rapidlys of Brian and he's angry because he know he'd reacted the same if he wasn't the one who invited Brian.

"Just because he's a 'cool guy' he has nothing to do at our party. And Deaky could you please help me to convince him that he just ruined our party? Deaky?" Freddie looks to John but it seems to be that John did not listen to them. He looks at something behind them with a dreamy expression.

Roger looks behind him and, of course, he sees no one else than Veronica and her friends giggling about something. She glances over to them and as soon as he sees that John is looking at her she blushes and quickly turns away. Roger has to admit that they are really cute and he's wondering when they will finally come together.

Freddie waves his hand annoyed before John's face and he flinches. "Uhm yeah I see. Well, no I don't see your problem, Freddie. I think it's great that Roger invited Brian and at least you should give him a chance. Maybe he's really a nice guy."  
Freddie just moans desperately. 

"Thank you very much. Of course, it doesn't bother you. You will have your great time with Veronica while I have to talk about the gravity or whatever. Thanks. Thank you very much." That's too much for Roger. "Okay, fine! You know what? I just wanted to be nice one time and you just" he gestures with his hand to express the anger he's feeling. 

" You just act like I ruined the whole party. You won't have to talk to him if you don't want to. I'll stay with him." He gives Freddie stank eyes. But he just laughs.

"As if you will stay with him the whole time. Probably you'll leave him as soon as one girl will arouse your interest." 

"No, I won't!" he says determined. "You want to bet?" Freddie looks at him with an excelling smile on his face. "When you'll stay with him the whole party I.." he looks around to find an idea. " I... Ah! We will play all your songs at our next concert!"

"Hey I don't want to be involved in your stupid bet!" John says "I'm in the band too, just if you two forgot that!" But he grins while saying that "Ok I'm fine with that but just because I'm really interested if our Roggie will be able to stay with him the whole party."

Roger snorts "I certainly will. And don't call me like that! But what if I won't stay with him? What's my punishment?" The three boys think about it. While Roger is trying to find the best way to get out of embarrassing punishments, Freddie seems to do the completely opposite. He has an evil expression on his face and he is the one who breaks the silent.

"I think it's just fair for all of us, if you will never invite him again to a party, if you'll lose the bet." Roger thinks about it. It is kind of the best he can do in this situation and if it will be so boring with Brian that he'll leave him, it's nothing special that he won't be able to invite him again.

So he holds his hand to Freddie and says "Okay, I'm fine with that." And the two shake their hands seriously as if they just agreed on something world changing.

\---

Although it's already in the middle of September, the air is warm and it feels like summer. Jim's parents own a large house and they have a pool too, which is the cause why most of the parties are at Jim's. 

Roger had to take the bus and as he arrives at the street the party has already started. Like aways. He doesn't like the awkward tension at the beginning of every party when everyone has complexs. They are teenagers and they want to provide every situation of embarrassing themselves but when teenagers are drunk nothing matters to them.

And another good aspect of coming to late is that you seem cool because it seems like you don't care. But it's the completely opposite. Roger always wants to impress the people, he wants to be remembered and he wants to be liked. By coming late he gets attention especially from the girls and he likes, no he enjoys the feeling of being in the centre. He loves it when girls look after him and when they blush after he gives them a compliment.

Although he knows that he broke many hearts in the past, he can't admit the fact that he doesn't want it to stop because he needs the confirmation pretty much.

He approaches to the house and sees the shape of a person coming from the other side of the street. Somehow the walking of the person remains him of someone and as they get closer he sees why. It is Brian May and he stares at the house. Roger has to grin as soon as he recognises him and he shouts "Hey!"

Brian nearly falls over his own feet and Roger thinks that he's kind of easily startled. Brian really looks different in other clothes than the uniform. The high waisted flared jeans makes his legs look even longer and the buttoned down shirt makes him look less nerdy. All in all he suddenly looks like a normal teenager and his similarity to Newton isn't that obviously anymore.

"Oh thank God it's you!" Brian says after he found out who called after him. "I already started thinking of going home because I didn't know how to convince myself to enter the house." He insecurely drives his hand through his hair and smiles. "Well, no ones is going home now. Brian May has to start to live." 

Roger pulls Brian with him but before they enter he releases his hand from Brian's arm. As he opens the door the familiar smell of sweat, alcohol and weed reaches his nose. He leads Brian through the house and steers to the garden where the actual party takes place. A girl in a purple miniskirt reaches both of them a paper cup with some kind of mixture of alcoholic drinks. 

Brian doesn't want it and is just about to give it back as Roger takes it by himself and says a "Thank you" to the girl.

The garden which is as big as the house is full of people around their age. Some are already dancing but most of them are sitting on outdoor sofas and drinking and talking to each other. One couple is already making out on one of the sofas and a girl shouts "Get a room!". Brian stops and stares at the pair as if he never saw two people making out. Well, probably he didn't. 

Roger has to pull him again with him and keeps an eye out for Freddie and John. He sees them near the 'bar' where they just took something to drink. "Hey" he says as he reaches them. "Brian, that are Freddie and John," he points at them "John and Freddie, that's Brian," he adds as if they didn't know already. 

Freddie surveys Brian "Hey". John reacts more politely "Hi, nice to meet you." he gives Brian a smile. "Hey" Brain says a bit shy. John opens his mouth as if he wants to say something but he gets interrupt by the sudden turn up of the music. "Everybody dance!" The DJ shouts and all uptightnesses are gone. John jumps "Sorry, but dancing is the best at parties maybe we can talk later again." And he rushes over to Veronica. Freddie also stands up and goes to the dancefloor. 

Neither Brian nor Roger are giving any signs of wanting to dance too, so they just watch the other people.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, this is Chapter 5 and it's not very long. I hope you like it anyway. I'll try to finish the next chapter until next week.  
> Yeah, I don't have anything more to say.  
> Enjoy! :)

So they both stay seated and Roger doesn't really know what to do. Normally he dances just like Freddie and John are doing or flirts with a few girls. Brian doesn't seem to him like someone who likes to dance, he is much too insecure for that and always thinks too much.

But he has to stay with him and at least give him a chance. Flirting is also rather not an option right now, all the pretty girls are on the other side of the dance floor.

He notices that he hasn't given Brian his drink back yet and wants to hand him one of the big red plastic cups. Brian says, "Eh, no thanks," and looks at the cup as if it were not a normal alcohol mix but some highly toxic chemical substance that immediately corrodes everything away. 

Roger moans "Come on, Brian. You need this now. You can see for yourself how tense you are and it won't kill you." He continues to hold it out to Brian and raises his eyebrows reproachfully. Hesitantly, Brian takes the cup, maintaining his disgusted expression. It wouldn't surprise Roger if Brian tipped it away on the spot.

He takes a sip himself "Look, I'm still alive". He says to Brian, who now also takes a tiny sip and then another larger one, but doesn't answer him. Shaking his head, half amused, half annoyed, Roger turns his gaze back to the dance floor. 

The girls are closer to them by now and he would like to run to them right away. He knows he is acting like a horny boy, but he has missed the feeling of being admired over the holidays. But he has a bet to win and he's going to pull himself the hell together.

"You can go if you want." Says Brian, who has noticed Roger's stare. Roger looks at him, he has an almost sad look on his face. "No, no," Roger replies a little too hastily. "I... was just looking" he takes a sip of the drink. He doesn't want Brian to be sad. "But we could both go to them, I'm sure at least two are interested in you."

Brian snorts, "Surely not! I'm sure they don't even know me and dancing isn't exactly one of my passions either." He now looks over at them too. Roger takes another sip before replying "But you're definitely interested in one of them, am I right?"

He sees how Brian blushs immediately and looks away, caught. Roger has to grin at this. "Who is it? The brown-haired one with the long legs and the green top? Or is it the blonde one in the blue skirt?" He looks at Brian expectantly, he's always been interested in who others are into, he doesn't exactly know why. But he believes it can tell you so much about a person.

Brian slides nervously in his chair and grabs his dark curls "Ehm, neither of them" he laughs uncertainly. "Who then?" replies Roger, stretching his neck to have a better look to the girls. "Why don't you stop staring?" Brian laughs louder now and Roger looks into Brian's eyes.

He already noticed the day before yesterday in the library how special Brian's eyes are. He has always found hazel eyes beautiful because they are neither as seductive as green eyes nor as calm as brown ones. He wonders why all girls don't have a crush on them. Brian clears his throat "Iistrissie" 

"Huh? Who?" Brian spoke so fast with nervousness that Roger didn't understand a word. Brian inhales and exhales once "Chrissie. She's the girl in the yellow dress." Roger looks back at the girls and spots her. She is relatively short and laughing straight so you can see her apple cheeks. Pretty much the opposite of Roger's type, but she suits Brian.

He drinks again and notices that his cup is almost empty. "So, come on! Let's go to then." He stands up, noticing that he is already a little dizzy from the alcohol. "I'm not dancing!" complains Brian, but Roger drags him along "How else are you going to talk to her?"

They push their way through people like at the beginning of the party, but now they are much drunker. A few metres before the girls, however, Roger stops and starts dancing. Brian stands stock-still and when Roger hisses at him "Dance! Otherwise we'll attract unnecessary attention before we want to." He just starts shifting his weight from one leg to the other. As he does so, he bobs his head. Roger has to grin again at his uncertainty, but says nothing.

"So, you're going to come with me in a minute and you're not going to stop dancing. I'm going to introduce you to them and then after a few minutes you're going to address Chrissie, understand?" Brian shakes his head "How am I supposed to approach her? And what do I do if she's not interested in me?" Roger groans, with Brian everything always has to be planned down to the last detail.

"I don't know! Ask her if she wants another drink, or tell her she looks pretty. Just think of something, you're usually so clever." "Not with girls! But yeah ok I'll approach her." He nods resolutely and takes a deep breath.

A new song plays and the two boys move towards the girls. "Hey, Dominique! Since when do you dance so well?" Roger calls out to a girl with dark hair and a leopard print dress. Sieh turns and smiles when she spots Roger "Hey, Roger! When did you get so cheeky?" she mimics him and hugs him laughing. 

The two were together for a few months a year ago and are now still good friends. "Who have you brought with you? Isn't that Brian?" she whispers in his ear. They break away from each other and Roger sees her frown questioningly. 

"Yeah, right! Guys, this is Brian!" Roger introduces him to the others. "Hi, Brian." They reply in chorus and giggle. Brian smiles briefly and puts his hands in his trouser pockets. You can tell he'd rather be anywhere else. "Hi." He replies quietly and just looks at his shoes, his face already taking on a red hue again.

Roger is getting tired of looking after Brian and now concentrates on the girls. They all dance, at some point he gets a new cup and at some point it is empty again. Roger has no idea how long they have been dancing. Every now and then he looks to see if Brian is still there and each time he sees that he is still standing with them. At some point Freddie, John and Veronika also join them. 

He sees that Chrissie is next to Brian and they are talking and Roger is happy for him. Suddenly Debbie, who Roger thought Brian was interested in before, starts kissing him. It feels great and Roger is already too drunk to question anything anyway, so he kisses her back.

After a few seconds, however, she breaks away from him again and Roger sees her hurry to another boy to kiss him too. He looks at her sulkily for a moment, the kiss was so beautiful, but then he forgets about it and continues dancing.

Brian and Roger leave the party together, mainly because Roger has had far too much to drink and finds it difficult to get around by himself. As a precaution, Brian takes Roger to his front door and then says goodbye to him. After what feels like hours, which Roger needs drunk to go to his room, change and brush his teeth, Roger drops into his bed and falls asleep on the spot.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I finished it much earlier than I thought and I think it is the longest chapter by far.  
> Have fun reading it!

The first thing Roger sees when he opens his eyes is an Alfa Romeo Spider, or rather a poster of it. He bought it a few years ago after a car race he attended with his father and he hopes to own the original one someday. 

Ever since he was a little boy, he had been fascinated by cars, how they worked and how they could accelerate so fast. Every time they drove the car, Roger imagined the road was a race track and cheered his father on to go faster, which he never did, much to Roger's disappointment. 

Together with his sister Clare, he transformed his and her nursery into huge racetracks with the help of black painted cardboard, glue and a lot of imagination. Afterwards they drove around on them with their toy cars, sometimes late into the night, so that their mother literally had to force them to bed.

Clare lost interest at some point, Roger never did. He still has the toy car collection. Two shoeboxes full of models, which he first gave as gifts and later bought with his pocket money, are kept safe in his cupboard and his greatest dream is to own the same collection with the original models. 

Stretching and yawning heartily, he turns over so he can look at the clock on his bedside table. 7.56 am. He has about an hour left and luckily biology class is cancelled today, otherwise he would be late again. His head feels like someone is constantly hitting a spot above his left ear from the inside with a hammer. Yesterday it was a drill. 

He rubs his eyes and staggers into the bathroom. When Roger switches on the light, he is dazzled by it. It has always been too cold and too bright for a bathroom light, but he doesn't feel like buying a new light bulb. With narrowed eyes, he finally makes it to the toilet and wants to jump up from it again. Far too cold! 

After getting used to the low temperature of the toilet bowl to some extent, Roger tries to review last night's party. But all he can remember is that he kissed someone. Or no, he was kissed. Desperately Roger tries to remember who it was, but as soon as he starts to think about it, the person in his head hammers harder against his inner skull wall, so he gives up. Hopefully it wasn't Dominique. That would only bring trouble.

But he doesn't think it was Dominique, he would have remembered that, wouldn't he? Why does he have to kiss someone at every party anyway, or, in this case, be kissed? Roger knows himself that many think he's a fuckboy and notices the looks he gets from many boys. And he's not mad at them at all, because he knows he'd loathe himself if he wasn't himself.

John asked him about it once, he was probably afraid Roger would make a pass at Veronika, but he would never do that. He would never hurt John in his life, he is his best friend after all. But John is also particularly vulnerable since his father died seven years ago. Besides, Freddie would kill him, he sometimes exaggerates his care for John. 

Anyway, he told John something then that has been bothering him for a long time. As many relationships as Roger has had in his life, none of them was love. He thought it was, yes at first he always thought it was the great love, but often after just two weeks, the feeling gradually disappears. But each time it is because Roger does not feel loved. He wants the girl to make him feel at home and wants to feel comfortable and safe in her arms.

But she wants him to protect her, from whatever, Roger doesn't understand who or what they are all afraid of. She wants him to stop at nothing every time and never show any weakness or anything like that. Then when Roger starts explaining his problem, they either don't take him seriously, laugh at him and tell him to stop being so cute, whereas they don't think he's cute at all. Or they complain that he is clingy. After a few weeks, the relationship usually ends.

And Roger wonders if he is asking for too much, wonders why he can't find anyone, and, if maybe he will never find the right one. After such relationships he feels bad, he has been with someone again and ended it after a few weeks. This only means that his fuckboy image will rise, and with it the probability that a girl will really be interested in him decreases.

When he had shared his thoughts with John, John hugged him tightly and promised him he would surely find the right person someday. Roger didn't believe it, but at that moment he was so grateful for John and their friendship for him that he started to cry. Because John, being John, he continued to hold him until he calmed down and then drove with him to a toy shop. There he bought Roger another model car, how he knew about Roger's collection he never asked John until today, it didn't matter.

He finally gets up from the toilet and, after seeing in the mirror how terrible he looks, decides to take a quick shower. The water feels so refreshing, however, that the originally planned quick shower turns into a medium-long one. 

Before he leaves for school, he goes to the kitchen to see if he can find something to eat. There is still half a slice of a roll in the bread basket and Roger smears it roughly with raspberry jam. He packs it in a box and stuffs it into his much too full school bag. He will have to eat it on the way, his bus arrives in five minutes.

Roger only catches his bus because it was late. He just doesn't understand why he himself can never get it together to be on time. He enjoys his half roll and stares out of the window. It starts to rain outside and raindrops collect on the windows of the bus. He remembers that Brian walked him home yesterday and resolves to thank him. And he really needs to apologise for the state he was in yesterday, he wanted Brian to have a fantastic first party and then he gets drunk. He really is an ass.

He notices how he is lost in his own thoughts and almost misses his stop. By now it is pouring rain and he feels the water gradually flowing through his shoes and soaking his socks. He feels like he is walking on water and at some point he stops avoiding the puddles.

Coming from across the street, he spots Freddie doing some kind of dance just to avoid the puddles. Roger has to grin and deliberately calls his name just as Freddie makes a dangerous turn around a monster puddle. Freddie jumps up and lands in the middle of the puddle. When he spots Roger, who can't hold himself in laughter, he runs towards him.

"I see you are already better than yesterday." Roger frowns questioningly. "Not really, there's been renovation work going on in my head since yesterday." The headache hasn't improved a bit since this morning. "Can't you remember?" the expression on Freddie's face does not bode well and alarm bells start ringing in Roger's head.

"Shit, Freddie. What have I done?" he knows himself that he is capable of the worst things when drunk. And Freddie's serious expression doesn't exactly cause him to calm down. "What did I do?" Freddie takes a deep breath "You... you... did..." he breaks off "Sorry, Rog. But I can't tell you, ask Deaky." Roger could scream. What has he done?

He snorts, "All right, let's ask Deaky then." The two walk on in silence. Roger imagines all the possible scenarios that could have happened. He had been in a fight before, but had gotten away without much injury himself. But today nothing hurt him except his head, and back then he could remember it the next day. 

But then there was that kiss. Hopefully that wasn't the reason for whatever happened yesterday. But the only thing Roger can do right now is to hope that an apology will be enough to clear things up. Which he rather doubts.  
The schoolyard is deserted except for a few people who, like them, have classes later, and when Freddie wants to go into the building, Roger holds him by the sleeve. "Can you at least wait with me for John, if you're not going to tell me yourself?" he hisses at him. "Sure, but can't we do it inside, I don't fancy looking like a watered dog."

You already look like that anyway, Roger thinks, but he prefers to go in. Inside the building, the boys immediately take off their jackets and try to get them drier somehow by shaking them. It doesn't really work. Just as Roger is about to wring out his hair, he sees Brian coming through the door. But his hair is completely dry, probably thanks to the umbrella he is carrying in his right hand. 

Brian spots them, but doesn't dare come over to them and just waves shyly. Maybe Brian can tell him what he did yesterday and he had planned to thank him. Roger waves him over and he sees Brian trying to stifle a grin. "What?" he asks annoyed, he can only imagine what he looks like right now. "Nah, nothing, just looking funny." Roger snorts "Thanks, I know." 

He now tries to untangle his hair with his fingers, he hates it when it falls down in thick strands. Brian notices how close Roger is to despair and takes a small brush out of his pocket. "Shall I help?" 

Roger nods gratefully and Brian begins to gently run the brush through Roger's hair. Roger instantly relaxes at the sensation. It reminds him of how his mother used to brush his hair every morning. But he also remembers that he wanted to ask Brian something.

"You, Brian?" "Hmm?" the latter replies quietly. "Thanks for walking me home yesterday, I was a real mess." Brian laughs and Roger feels his breath on the back of his neck "No problem." Roger smiles at least he has that one thing ticked off now. Brian stops brushing his hair and Roger would like to ask him never to stop. But that would be funny. So he turns and looks into those dark eyes, they show no anger or anything.

"What did I do yesterday? At the party?" At Roger's serious tone, Brian looks at him with concern. "I don't know, at first it was just the two of us sitting and talking. Then you dragged me out to the dance floor with the girls and had fun. What exactly do you mean?" Roger calms down a bit, it can't have been that bad if Brian doesn't mention it first of all.

"Have I had a fight with anyone, or even a fight?" Brian looks even more confused "No, Roger. You were pretty drunk though." He laughs at this and now Roger is confused. What did Freddie mean then? He wants to turn to Freddie but Brian stops him "Hey, wait a minute." He smiles at him "I wanted to say thank you too, it was a really great first party. Thanks to you I'm seeing Chrissie this weekend." 

"Oh, really? Great! But I shouldn't have left you alone like that and I've got to go and confront Freddie first, hang on a minute." Freddie was still standing in the school corridor talking to Deaky, who had also arrived at school by now, when he saw Roger's angry face he ran away laughing and shouting. "You have to forgive me! I couldn't help myself! Your face!" he laughed "You should have seen it!" 

Roger has to laugh now too, he can imagine only too well how he looked, so worried he was before. He continues to chase Freddie around the school building until his poor stamina kicks in and he stops, snorting. The school bell rings for third period and he decides to spare Freddie.

It's still raining after school. Why did he take another shower in the morning? His socks haven't dried in a few hours either. Annoyed, he pulls his hood over his head. 

"Shall we walk together to the bus stop, mine is about in your direction?" Roger startles when he suddenly hears the voice next to him. Brian is standing there with his umbrella open and smiling at him. Roger's mood instantly improves. How does Brian always do this?

He scurries under the umbrella and the two of them start walking. "So tomorrow's your big day, right?" says Brian. "Huh?" Roger is confused and he has to admit that his mind was already somewhere else. Under the umbrella, the two of them stand so close that Roger can feel Brian's body heat. Although it was so warm yesterday, today it is rather uncomfortable, especially because of the rain, and the cold wind makes Roger shiver, even if he would never admit it. 

"Our physics lecture." Brian tries to remind him, but Roger doesn't want to remember at all. He prefers to snuggle closer to Brian and breathe in his scent. Brian smells like Christmas, and in September. The latter pushes Roger away laughing "Leave it. Could it be that you're still drunk?" Roger shakes his head.

"Nah, just tired." He yawns. "And a headache" he adds and Brian strokes his head. "That bad?" he asks and Roger nods vigorously. "Where exactly?" 

Roger points to the spot above his ear and to his surprise Brian leans down and kisses him on the spot. True, there is still the hood, but still. He's never been kissed by his friends before. With bullet-rimmed eyes, he looks up at Brian. "What was that for?" Brian just shrugs and looks ahead "My mum used to do it when I had a headache."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, again!  
> I don't know why I'm in such a writing mood right now but I don't think anyone complains. :)
> 
> Have fun! (And leave kudos, I'm addicted to them:))) )

Roger stares at his maths homework, but can't concentrate on it one bit. His mind keeps wandering to the lecture tomorrow. He hates speaking in front of the class, hates how everyone stares at him but no one listens, hates the feeling of knowing that everyone in the room would much rather be somewhere else. After all, next to Brian he will look like the biggest fool in the world.

For the third time since he has been home, he takes his index cards out of his pocket and goes through them. Is one missing? Hastily he flips through them and calms down a little when he realises that none is missing. In his mind, he goes through his part again, but it only makes him more stressed when he starts to falter at one point. 

Angrily, he puts it back in his pocket and stares at the wall. His headache has miraculously disappeared before, but that has more of a downside at the moment. His thoughts bounce through his head like ping-pong balls and he can't focus on anything. He buries his head in his hands in despair and would like to scream his head off. 

He takes his notebook out of the desk drawer and starts writing. He has been doing this ever since he found out that writing calms him down. He thinks about the party yesterday and everything that is bothering him at the moment.

It's the sad-eyed, goodbye, yesterday moments I remember  
It's the bleak street, week-kneed partings I recall  
It's the mistier mist  
The hazier days  
The brighter sun  
And the easier lays  
There's all the more reason for laughing and crying  
When you're younger and life isn't too hard at all

Maybe Roger can make a new song out of it but right now he can't think of any other lyrics and he doesn't want to write just anything. For now, he is just glad that his thoughts have calmed down and are in order. Outside it has finally stopped raining and Roger goes to his window and looks outside. 

It has become dark but the night sky is covered with clouds and he cannot see any stars. He can't help thinking of Brian, wasn't he always so excited about space? He hears someone running up the stairs and turns as his bedroom door is carefully opened. His mother pokes her head through the door "Phone for you." She holds the phone out to him.  
Hopefully it's not Brian who wants to discuss the presentation again, Roger thinks to himself and answers. "Hello?" 

"Hey, Roger!" he exhales in relief as he recognises Freddie's voice. "What's up? Has anyone contacted you about playing guitar yet?" His mother leaves his room and he drops onto his bed. 

"No, unfortunately not. But I wanted to ask if you'd like to have a sleepover party again sometime. Just the three of us, we haven't done that for a long time."

"I'd love to! "Freddie is right, their last sleepover party was sometime in July, and those are always the best parties.

"Ok, cool. Deaky has already agreed, now we just need a date. How about Saturday this week?" Freddie asks excitedly, he always gets super jittery about things like that.

"Rather badly." Roger replies "Brian really wanted to meet with me again before his date. Wanted tips and stuff. But I should be free next weekend."

"Ok, next week Saturday then. "Roger hears Freddie writing something down, as if it were impossible to remember the date. 

"So, Brian and you, are you best friends now or what?" Roger is surprised by Freddie's tone in asking the question. It almost sounds as if he is offended. 

"Just because we're seeing each other doesn't mean we're best friends. And you see Jim all the time too," he replies. 

"As long as you don't neglect us." Roger frowns in confusion, why does Freddie sound so sad. 

"Is everything OK, Freddie? You're my best friends, but Brian is nice too. But we've known each other much longer and better. We'll be best friends forever, okay?"

"Okay." Freddie replies. "Until we fucking die!" He laughs into the phone and Roger is relieved that Freddie has calmed down.  
"Speaking of Brian" says Roger "What about our bet? I won, didn't I?"

Freddie sighs "Yes, yes, don't remind me. Please don't think up too strange lyrics - after all, I'm the one who has to sing." 

"So please! Since when do I think up funny lyrics?" Roger replies indignantly.

"One never knows with you..." murmurs Freddie and Roger rolls his eyes with a grin.

The two continue talking for another two hours until Roger decides to call it a day because of the presentation tomorrow.

\---

"And that's it for our short presentation on Newton's first law. We hope you have understood everything and thank you for your attention. If you have any questions, you can ask them now." Roger ends her presentation the next day in physics. 

Of course, no one has any questions, but Roger is just glad to have it over with. Mr Denson also gives him an appreciative nod and Roger could cry with joy. Brian pats him on the back and murmurs "You did really great.". Roger beams at him.

They won't know their grade until everyone has presented, so it may be another two weeks, but Roger is content for Mr Denson to stop labelling him stupid.

\---

The next day, Roger sets off for Brian's place at just before 2 pm. He knows that the date is not until about 6 pm, but Brian has insisted that Roger be at his place already at 2 pm. Brian really panicked completely and couldn't sit still all day yesterday.

Roger is already looking forward to helping Brian and he doesn't find it bad or annoying that Brian is so nervous. More like sweet. 

Brian's house is in a housing estate and there are lots of children playing in the street. It must have been great growing up here. The front garden looks like an advertisement, not a single sign of weeds, the hedge perfectly trimmed and while the first autumn leaves are already lying on the path at the houses next door, at Brian's everything has been swept away.

With his shoes still dirty from the bad weather on Thursday, he feels terribly out of place. He hesitantly presses the bell and waits for someone to open the door. Roger suddenly doesn't know what to do with his arms, he crosses them, but that seems too forbidding, as he lets them hang down, he feels they have never been so long. 

But he can't pose her any other way, because at that moment the door opens and a woman stands in front of him. Roger would have imagined Brian's mother differently, much sterner looking after seeing the garden. But she looks very friendly and Roger notices that she has the same dark eyes as Brian. 

"And you are?" she asks him, amused, after Roger has been silent for too long. He feels himself blushing and quickly replies "I am..." but he can't finish his sentence because he is interrupted by Brian running down the stairs, or rather falling and shouting "That must be Roger!" he comes to a skidding halt beside his mother. Roger has to grin and Brian's mother also looks at him in surprise, but then turns back to Roger.

"Oh, you're the young man who took our Brian outside once." She says delightedly. "Brian didn't tell me you were coming today." Roger is about to open his mouth to tell her that he only came today so that he can prepare Brian for his date, but is interrupted by Brian again.

"Yes, I forgot to tell you, but Roger and I were going to do homework today." He pulls Roger with him and they leave the confused Mrs May in the hallway.

Brian's room is larger than Roger's, but the most striking thing is the many posters on the walls. Various star charts and pictures of asteroids, but also a Beatles poster adorn the walls. Roger's mouth drops open "Wow, I didn't know you were so enthusiastic about space." Brian shrugs and sits down cross-legged on the floor.

"But why didn't you tell your mother about your date with Chrissie?" Roger now sits down on the floor too. Brian snorts "Are you crazy? She'd freak out with joy and just talk about it." He shakes his head, aghast.

Roger grins, he can well imagine that Brian's mother is one of those mothers who get all excited at such news.  
"All right, then, let's get started. Where are you going anyway?" Brian blushes. "I thought maybe we could go to the Autumn Market."

Roger nods, the Autumn Market is not an ordinary weekly market for them, but a kind of autumn attraction. There is a lot of pumpkin to eat, but also a few roller coasters. Late in the evening, the whole place is lit up with loud fairy lights and then it's especially beautiful and romantic.

"Yeah, why not." Brian looks relieved when he hears that Roger doesn't think the idea is too silly. 

"Then, what are you wearing?" he asks Brian. 

"Yeah, so that's why I need your help" Brian replies "I have absolutely no idea what to wear."

"All right, let's see what we're going to dress you in." Roger jumps up and opens Brian's wardrobe. It's relatively warm again today, so he won't need a jacket and it can't be too fancy. Finally he pulls a pair of black bell-bottom trousers and a purple striped shirt out of the wardrobe and hands them to Brian. 

"Sure purple isn't too colourful?" Brian looks doubtfully at the top.  
"Why should it? Go on, put it on." But Brian doesn't move and just looks uncertainly back and forth between Roger and the clothes in his hand. Until Roger understands.

"Oh, I'm not looking!" he turns around shaking his head, he really didn't think Brian had such a complex. While Brian is changing, Roger goes to his desk. On it he discovers an open notebook and at first he is afraid that it might be a diary. But it's not, at least Roger thinks it isn't. It says 'DREAMERS BALL' in Brian's squiggly handwriting and a few verses underneath.

"You write poetry?" he asks Brian as he reads through it 

DREAMERS BALL

Oh, I used to be your baby  
Used to be your pride and joy  
You used to take me dancing  
Just like any other boy  
But now you've found another partner  
You've left me like a broken toy

"Poems? No, more like song lyrics. But it's not finished yet. You can look again."

Roger turns around and he has to admit that Brian looks really good right now. The flared trousers and the top complement each other perfectly between elegant and cosy, Roger has done a good job.

"Looks great!" he assures Brian, who is looking at himself in the mirror.

"And you really write song lyrics?" 

"Yeah, but only like this, for me and my guitar." He takes the book from Roger's hand and stows it away in his bedside drawer. He probably doesn't actually want anyone to read it.

Roger doesn't think he heard right "You play the guitar. Really? I didn't know that."

"I told you on Tuesday that I had classes." Laughs Brian, but Roger can't remember. He still finds it strange, Brian doesn't strike him as someone who plays the guitar. He is much too quiet and gentle for that.

"What kind of guitar do you play?" asks Roger curiously.

"My Red Special." Roger frowns, he has never heard of such a model. "I built it with my father, do you want to see it?"

Yes, Roger definitely wants that. Hastily he nods his head and Brian pulls the case out from under his bed. It looks really unique, Brian's guitar. And when Brian plays a few chords, Roger hears how unique it sounds. He is fascinated and asks Brian the question that has been on the tip of his tongue ever since he found out that Brian plays the guitar.

"Would you like to play with us? “ 

Brian looks at him questioningly "Us?"

"With our band. Queen. We're in desperate need of a guitarist. “

"Gladly!" Brian looks at him with bright eyes and Roger can see him trying to hold back his obvious joy. "Well, I mean, if you think I'm good enough for you."

"As long as you're not miserable, we're fine. It's not like we have a choice." He grins.

"If you say so." Brian carefully puts his guitar back in its case. "So, what compliments can I give Chrissie?" 

Roger sighs "There are no rules. As long as you mean it honestly, she'll be happy." He lies down with his back on the floor. "You can practice on me if you're unsure."

Brian lies down next to him and laughs "You just want me to tell you how awesome you are." Roger raises his eyebrows and turns his head to Brian "So you think I'm awesome?" Brian chuckles "Shut up!"


End file.
